


HOW TO CHASE A RAINBOW: THE STORY OF THE HAZBIN HOTEL

by WUTBOIWHOISDIS



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Documentation, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28548684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WUTBOIWHOISDIS/pseuds/WUTBOIWHOISDIS
Summary: How did the Happy (Hazbin) Hotel come to be? What were the views of those who were skeptical? How did they feel when it worked?Join me as I ask the staff of the Happy Hotel how they managed to do the impossible.Please comment.ON HIATUS
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. INTRO

(The screen is black, leaving in ominous presence. All of a sudden, a voice speaks.)

Hell.

A place of eternal suffering.

(Screenshots of Hell appear. They consist of the daily chaos. Murder, drug dealing, and mild gore as well as rape. The last two are censored when such photos pop up.)

Those who end up down here, some believe, "I don't deserve this! I should be in Heaven!", or something. Some think they do belong down here. The shame they would feel if God's eyes landed on them.

(More videos pop up on screen, showcasing more chaos.)

And of course, every year, there would be a day that mortals would celebrate. Known as New Year's Day, humans celebrate time passing, acknowledging the blessings (and cursing the misfortunes) of the year, hoping the next one would be better.

But Hell?

They dreaded this day the most.

(A news report with Katie Killjoy pops up on screen. She exclaims, "This year's Extermination Day has come up to a sheer 1,000,000 deaths! How that many people decided to be dipshits and go outside, we will never fucking know!" Shots of dead bodies cover the screen, censored in the right places.)

This was Hell, and if you were down here, well, there was no way out.

*cinematic stop of sound**screen cuts to black*

But what if I told you there was a way? And what if it worked?

(News headlines plaster the screen about a place called the "Hazbin Hotel." The voice talks over it.)

Reports of a good Samaritan building an establishment who helped reform sinners and hopefully send them to Heaven.

They laughed at her. They mocked her.

(The headlines speed up, all the more satirical with their wording, until it stops at one. It reads, "Former pornstar Anthony "Angel Dust" Regio gets sent to Heaven through Hazbin Hotel)

But she proved them horribly wrong.

(The video cuts to the princess of Hell speaking.)

C: I mean, I wasn't doing this for shock value, you know? I just wanted to do something, for my people, and when I look back, I'm proud of what I've done.

E: I can see that, definitely, yea.

C: *chuckles* Yea.

-

E: You said there was a song that you sang before that inspired you?

C: Yes, actually. It's one of my favorite songs. Do you want me to sing?

E: Whatever floats your boat.

(Charlie clears her throat and takes a deep breath. She starts singing "Always Chasing Rainbows". As she does so, pieces of media plays of videos taken at the hotel. They include sinners taking photos of redemption certificates, humorous videos of the staff at the hotel, live performances, a few sad moments, and it ends with a shot of the hotel from the outside.)

_At the end of the rainbow there's happiness_

_And to find it, how often I tried_

_But my life is a race_

_Just a wild goose chase_

_And my dreams have all been denied_  
  


_Why have I always been a failure_

_What can the reason be_

_I wonder if the world's to blame_

_I wonder if it could be me_  
  


_I'm always chasing rainbows_

_Watching clouds drifting by_

_My schemes are just like all my dreams_

_Ending in the sky_  
  


_Some fellows look and find the sunshine_

_I always look and find the rain_

_Some fellows make a winning sometime_

_I never even make a gain_

_Believe me_  
  


_I'm always chasing rainbows_

_Waiting to find a little bluebird_

_In vain_

(As Charlie ends, it cuts back to the interview. A few tears run down her eyes, for it's a pretty sad song.)

E: Wow. Just... that was beautiful. You need a tissue? *reaches to grab a tissue for Charlie*

C: *sniffs as she takes it* Yes...thank you...

Redemption is something very valuable. It alludes to forgiveness, remembrance, regret, and letting go. And how a demon managed to achieve that and let sinners have a second chance? This is the answer that I seek.

(An angel with small fangs sits on a chair across the screen. His skin is ashen gray, and his eyes glow neon cyan.)

My name is Erys Johanssen. and this...

(The screen cuts to a logo forming. Every letter is in a serious font, but the only word that stands out is "rainbow'. the logo is HOW TO CHASE A RAINBOW: THE STORY OF THE HAZBIN HOTEL)

...is How to Chase a Rainbow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaddya think? Post in the comments!


	2. PART 1.1

Before we get into the swing of things, here's something you should know about myself.

(Clips of Heaven play during the scene, some where Erys is walking around, showing its may locations.)

I was actually born in Heaven. My parents were two angels who died, and because they couldn't have a baby on Earth, God has blessed them, and there you have it. Me.

(Clips of 714 News Channel pop up. Erys is seen in a few of them.)

I grew up, and I joined 714 News Channel. First was internship, then I went up the ranks to be a newcaster. I enjoyed it for a while.

(The clips pause at a certain moment when Erys is smiling.)

But I wasn't satisfied.

I love to write. I wrote this script for myself, anyway. But I love success stories, stories about people doing something for the better, even in tight circumstances. I wanted to find more of these stories, and show them to Heaven, seeing good examples of how much good you can do beyond your surroundings.

And when I heard about the Hazbin Hotel?

I found exactly what I was looking for.

(A view from a car window shows streets passing by. Imp City, Pentagram City, Cannibal Colony, even the Royal District where Lucifer lives. The clips play in this order.)

I gathered my wits and ventured down to Hell.

There, after sending my social media links and number, it was enough for the Princess of Hell to tell me about the place.

(Charlotte "Charlie" Magne: Princess of Hell, Founder of Hazbin Hotel)

*Charlie sits down in her chair and shakes Erys's hand*

C: Hi!

E: Hello, nice to meet you.

C: Thanks, you too!

-

E: So, this came from a dream, right? *Charlie goes "Mhm" and nods her head* When did you have this, dream of the Hazbin Hotel?

C: Actually it's supposed to by the Happy Hotel, but due to a business disagreement, it was changed, heh heh...*she shakes her head* Anyway, I was about 35, 5 in human years, and I came to my parents with this vision I had where all demons could live in peace! Singing, dancing, that was definitely involved, I was a huge damn theater kid...*laughs*

E: *snickers* Go on...

C: Anyway, my dad, you know him, he was definitely not on board with the idea. He laughed at me, saying how "absolutely fucking stupid" it was. My mom was, skeptical, but supported me nonetheless. She actually slapped him for saying such a thing to me.

E: Heh, I would see that. Did you tell any friends about the hotel?

C: Yes, actually! I told my good friend Octavia about it, and she was happy that I was trying to make a difference and all that jazz. Helsa, on the other hand, well, to put it lightly, we're not friends anymore.

E: Oh. *Erys decides not to press on that topic any further, but Charlie keeps going*

C: Yeah, if only she actually believed in me and Seviathan didn't...*she slowly starts to go demonic, muttering curses under her breath**Erys reels back in his chair uncomfortably*

*Charlie takes notice and stops*

C: Oh, sorry, just, bad memories.

E: Uh, *Erys nods uncomfortably* yeah...

-

After talking with her, we decided to stay in touch in case she wanted to tell me more. She recommended that I talk to her fiancée.

I met her at a restaurant in the Shopping District of Imp City. She was reluctant at first, but after I told her that I talked to Charlie and showed proof she told me about her, she was comfortable.

(Vagatha "Vaggie" De León Perez, Co-founder of Hazbin Hotel)

V: The first time I met her was at a café, I was sitting somewhere and she had asked if she was allowed to sit there. I was a prostitute as the time, and I couldn't care more. I just thought she was some other potential client who wanted to fuck me.

E: Clearly, you were fooled.

V: Ay dio, that's exactly what I told myself, turns out she was really nice, we hung out more, and now not only do I own my body, it also belongs to only one person. *flaunts her ring*

E: Congrats, by the way. *Vaggie replies with a quiet "thank you"* Anyway, about the hotel.

V: Sí, sobre eso...I was 2 years into dating her when she told me about this passion project of hers. She was all like "redemption, happy, yay!" and it had all of this glimmer and shit, while I was thinking about it. I thought, "How could this possibly work?" I mean, this is fucking Hell we're talking about, full of assholes, and murderers, and rapists, you get me, ¿sí o no?

E: Yep, I understand. I mean, as a person coming from Heaven-

V: Wait, you're from Heaven?!

E:...

V: I mean... ah, hijo de perra, cut that out of the film, please. *laughs*

E: *heartily laughs*

Talking with Vaggie was insightful, but my work wasn't done here yet. I needed to talk to someone who wasn't part of the inspiration, more of the process.

And who better to do that with than the very first sinner who reached Heaven?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going by the popular head canon that Vaggie had a really bad life and did some prostitution in Hell.


	3. PART 1.2

Finding Mr. Regio wasn't very hard. He was in Heaven at the moment, and had currently come from Hell when he had pitched in to help out. And in case you're wondering what he's doing now that he's no longer a pornstar...

(The camera cuts to a pink room, filled with posters of Angel Dust, other movies, a bean bag chair and any other memorabilia Angel had collected. A podcasting setup is on Angel's desk.)

"Ciao, cuties. My name is Anthony Regio, but you can call me Angel Dust."

Anthony, or "Angel Dust" has a podcast channel on both Heaven and Hell's radio-waves, called "Above and Below with Angel Dust". It involves news, interviews, fan mails, music, among other things.

(Angel reads news about leaked Armageddon rumors, He interviews a sinner who was recently redeemed, he hugs a crocheted version of himself that a fan sent him, and a scene of him playing guitar shows up. He's singing an acoustic of "Stupid Deep" by Jon Bellion.)

I offered to talk with him in person, but he decided to see if he could get me on his podcast. So I arranged a meeting first.

What you are about to hear is available on Season 5 Episode 2 of his podcast as well.

(Erys walks up to Angel's estate up in Heaven, for Angel had shared his location with him. He knocks on the door and Angel opens it. He is in his human form currently; caucasian white skin with blue eyes and blond hair. He wears a pink sweater that shows off the shoulders and a black skirt.)

E: You must be Anthony?

AD: Please, call me Angel. Fucks wit da camera?

E: Oh sorry, I'm making a documentary about the Hazbin Hotel.

AD: Oh, damn, a documentary! *goes into a deep, sultry voice* How about YOU document me?

E: That's the idea, yes.

AD: *notices what he just said* Oh, sorry, old habits. *to self* Hell is ya doin', Angie?

-

(Anthony "Angel Dust" Regio: Podcaster, Former pornstar, First Redeemed)

E: So tell me how this all started for you.

AD: I was tryna find some johns out in da' city, as my employa' had been pissed off about somethin', I don't care tah rememba'. Anyway, a whole fuckin' limo pulls up in fronta me and two girls were in there. Bein' gay like I am, I charged extra for women, so I had said dat, and Charlie was like "No, we don't wanna fuck." That threw me fa' a whole loop. They had ta' be bullshittin' me.

E: Did you get in the car?

AD: Yeah, and then they propose dis whole idea about redemption where they wanna send "poor souls" back to Heaven. Like, I was rollin' on the floor eternally, but internally, I was actually on edge. What if I could see my ma? I could quit! Next thing you know, you're sittin' across from me, in Heaven, interviewin' me.

E: Good for you. Anymore details?

AD: Oh yeah, Vaggie, I'm sure ya met her already, *Eyrs nods* bein' the stubborn-ass Latina she is, thinks that I'm a lost cause for a first patron. Now Charlie, oh Charlie, bless her fuckin' soul, the kindest bitch in Hell, she goes all Lilo and Stitch and says "He's good. I can tell." And there ya have it. That's how it all went down.

E: Interesti-

AD: Oh, have you asked Charlie about da news interview she had?

E: No?

AD: *bursts out laughing* Oh, God almighty, ya gotta talk ta her about it! Come back ta me when ya finished, aight, sweetie?

-

C: It was a big day for me and Vaggie, for we had gotten our chance to tell about our project publicly, for real this time. I was so excited! I had the script that I practiced over and over again, and I highlighted the best parts so that I wouldn't forget.

-

V: She showed me the script, and I mentally went, "What the fuck?" It was ALL highlighted.

-

C: So, Vaggie tells me that I can do it, she's encouraging me, telling me not to sing, which by the way, I DID promise her at first. I really did! All of a sudden, BOOM! Katie Killjoy comes in and she's starts making fun of me, how they didn't want me here in the first place because a cannibal was supposed to cook or something, she made fun of how I was bi...she was poking my breasts for some reason, I guess to emphasize her points?

-

(Caitlyn "Katie Killjoy" Banks: 666 News Anchor

Next to her,

Thomas Trench: 666 News Co-anchor)

KK: *she takes a drag from her cigarette**smoke bellows out of her mouth as she talks* Where I'm from, we were really homophobic. It came out as instinct, really, when I said, "I don't touch the gays." *Tom coughs at some of the smoke* At the PRINCESS, for fuck's sake! I enjoyed putting people down, I still do if I'm pissed off, but I would learn the hard way. Everyone does.

-

C: She's about to say more when someone from the staff comes and yells that they were live. Immediately like this *snaps fingers* she had her happy mask back on.

E: What happened next?

C: Then, I'm in the chair next to her. I'm talking, and she's clearly distracted, and then I announce my hotel. A hotel that rehabilitates sinners! *jazz hands*

E: ...You were met with silence.

C: Yeah, and as I embarrassingly try to recover, I remember something. Remember when I said I was a theater kid?

("Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow" plays in the background. After Vaggie's interference, a scene from the famed news clip plays.)

V: *blushing in humiliation* Maldita sea, turn that off!

_Inside of every demon is a rainbow_

_Inside every sinner is a shiny smile_

_Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac_

_Is a jolly, happy, cupcake-loving child_

_We can turn around, they'll be heaven bound_

_With just a little time down at the Happy Hotel_

As of now, this is one of the most popular songs in both Heaven and Hell. As of now, combined, it reached over five billion streams on both Voxify and later Psalm Streams after the princess released it online.

*Edited to play at the same time*

C: Oh, I love that song.

V: Oh, I hate that song.

-

C: I could tell that most of the audience was enjoying it! There was a buzz in the air as I used my magic to really wow the crowd!

(The ending clip plays, with Charlie in a place that looked similar to "Candyland")

However, that would change for the worst.

V: Charlie was panting hard, even in the pose she struck. I was absolutely disappointed, I told her not to sing! Then again, what did I expect?

E: *laughs* Yes, what did you expect?

V: A normal, professional interview. It didn't end there, no. They LAUGHED. They LAUGHED at her. Oh, mi sangre todavía hierve desde este día.

*Captions say, "My blood still boils from this day."*

-

TT: They all started to make fun of her, and Katie was among them. I only chuckled, because I was still trying to get through the pain of hot coffee on my member. Katie goes on about how anyone could possibly be good on purpose-

KK: THANK you, Tom, I think I can speak for myself. *Grits teeth through "myself"* Anyway, yeah, I was talking about that and she says that they already had a patron. I ask who it is and turns out, it's that whore Tom used to beat himself off to during break.

TT: I, WAIT, please, Katie...

E: *shakes his head* Ok, ok, ok, back on track please? *to Tom* Sorry. *silent "don't be" from Tom*

KK: Anyway, we had an earlier news report where there was a turf war going on, you know where after Extermination Day, after the many deaths of sinners and demons, people fight for open territory? Two people notorious for doing such a thing, Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb, were fighting each other, but get this!

TT: Their very first patron was out on the field with them! The humiliation on Charlie's face was a little sa-

KK: PRICELESS! *laughs* At least, that's what I thought at the time. I ask what it's like to be a failure, and then she grabs my pen while I'm laughing and says-

-

C: "Well, I, uh, have your pen now, how about that, huh? BITCH?!"

E: *sigh* I feeI like I know where this is going already.

C: Yeah...you do.

-

KK: I do NOT like being called a BITCH. *crumbles cigarette in her hand* We start fighting, and with her being the princess of Hell, I obviously lost. I didn't think I would lose, I thought I was all high and mighty and crap.

TT: And for some reason, I was on fire.

KK: Yeah, why were you on fire?

TT: *frustrated* I-I-I don't know, Katie, it just happened. *sighs*

-

AD: I was on my phone while the interview was going live on da TV in fronta me. Then I get a phone call from my best friend that I still visit sometimes, Cherri Bomb. She tells me...

-

(Cherri Bomb: Former Activist, Arsonist)

CB: I'm in a bad spot, and I was wondering if he could get his sexy ass over here and help me. And that's exactly what he did. If only he wasn't gay, I would've fallen in love with him.

E: *nods* What happened at the turf war? Who is Sir Pentious?

CB: Oh, him? HA! He's this snake guy who thought he could rule Hell or some shit. I call him "edge lord" because he was always trying to be edgy and get with the kids. Absolute shit, I tell you...*notices something outside* Wait...hold on a sec*

E: Huh? Oh ok, take your time.

CB: *Opens a window nearby, slipping into her Aussie accent* OI, YOU! STOP THROWING STONES AT MY FUCKING WINDOW, YA BLOODY DRONGO!

E: *looks on in surprise as she walks back to her chair* You okay?

CB: *Back to her normal accent* Yeah, I'm okay. Bloody sinners trying to get at me for goin' clean. I just wanna see Angie.

I tried getting a comment from Sir Pentious. He did not respond.

-

AD: So, I rush ova' there ta help my girl friend out. She really was in a damn tough spot... snake dude was gonna win. That was until I helped her out. I used my extra arms, *sprouts them to show he kept the ability* and brought out my guns. I started shootin' at the guys' Egg Bois, which is what he called them. Heh, stupid ass name.

E: Alright, continue?

AD: Yeah, I'm fighting and stuff when all of a sudden he starts to grab me with all of these tentacles. Now, when I was doing porn, I was prone to make innuendo jokes, but this was no porno. His grip actually kinda hurt.

AD: He then grabs this chain and slams me on the ground! That didn't hurt too much, and I was intent on him dropping his guard, so I yelled, *clears throat, then puts arm over his head in a dramatic fashion* "Oh, harder, daddy!"

E: Did he react? Did he laugh? Was he disgusted?

AD: No! He wasn't! I was so fuckin' mad! Well, until he came back with a question. "Son?"

E: Did he have any kids?

AD: I don't fuckin' know. But he had this hopeful look in his eyes. We stayed like that for a whole 30 seconds until-

-

CB: I dropkicked him. Perfect timing is my middle name, bitch!

-

Charlie, Vaggie, and Anthony would then tell me about the aftermath of the incident. The atmosphere they had was definitely tense.

-

V: I was absolutely fuming when we were in the limo. How could Angel play around with us like that? After everything we did for him? I swear, if I weren't for Charlie, I would've killed him. He made the moment all the worse when he wouldn't stop playing with one of the limo windows. Charlie paid for the damages.

-

AD: What? We didn't have those in the 40's! It was cool!

-

C: I remember just, being sad. I didn't want anyone to talk to me, I had been thinking about so many other problems that were running through my mind. My father, the hotel, Angel...

E: I understand. I wouldn't like it if someone ruined a chance for me like that.

C: Yeah...I'm gonna finish, though. Angel was babbling on about something-

-

V: I did threaten to kill him, though. I was that mad! I was actually pulling clumps of my hair out! I'm surprised I have no bald spots.

E: He just kept rambling on?

V: Yeah, he made a joke about how if he died again, he be sent to "Double Hell". One, it doesn't exist, and two, he made a double offensive joke where he told me-

-

AD: "Don't get ya taco in a twist, babe." I swear, she was muttering' curses til we got to da hotel. The look o' death she gave me was intimidatin', to say the least.

E: What happened after you got to the hotel?

-

V: I was just tired. My head was throbbing, I just needed a break, Charlie sat down on a nearby ledge, and Angel went and got some food. All we had was popsicles at the time. Despite how angry I was at him for hurting Charlie, I did internally praise his efforts to lighten the mood for her.

-

AD: I said some joke about how there needs ta' be more food for all the wayward souls comin' through. I laughed to try and get her too, but she only crouched further. The joke died hard, and, just lookin' at her like that, I died too.

-

C: I got outside to call my mom. I knew my dad wouldn't answer, for we weren't on speaking terms at the moment. I called my mom instead, and she didn't pick up. She was most likely busy at the moment, so I just left a voicemail. I was heartbroken from the interview, I was close to tears, I just talked about how I felt so desperate, I felt like I wouldn't make a difference...*her voice gets shaky towards the end*

E: You okay?

C: *sniffs* Yeah yeah... phew, okay. Anyway, I get back inside, and I just rest my head on the door. I was done for today. I needed to rest. Then all of a sudden, a knock at the door.

-

AD: Little did I know our afterlives were gonna change foreva. He was hot, too.

-

V: And just to make my day worse. The day HE showed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got some inspiration from Shadow_of_Nyx's Angel Dust podcaster AU. I could see him do something like this if he quit porn.
> 
> I had to search up Australian slang. I think it still sounds cringy what I typed.


	4. THIS IS ON HIATUS

THIS IS ON HIATUS


End file.
